February 20, 2006

骄傲

三年前,关于童心的定义,我说,是“好奇,热爱自然;善良,关爱他人;骄傲,珍爱自己。”
也是那个时候,曾和Y深夜通短信。忘了当时在聊什么了,也忘了是他的什么话触动了我,只记得我回的那句话:“你和我一样,都是很骄傲的人。”这条短信立刻引来了惺惺相惜的回应。
骄傲,我确实是这么看自己的。
本科同寝室的小妹妹很是不明白,骄傲,用作名词比如“谁谁谁是我们祖国的骄傲”时是褒义词,用作形容词时可多半都带有贬义阿。怎么会有人如此大言不惭地说自己是骄傲的呢?
可是,我要怎么说,才能让你们理解呢?
我也不喜欢那种玫瑰般的骄傲,扬着头,将他人刺痛。我要的骄傲,是只关乎于己的,内敛的。这骄傲,建立在对自己的根深蒂固的确信之上。我曾经在别的小朋友都会唱歌跳舞或弹琴时自己却什么才艺都拿不出手,曾经在重要考试中失败入校时排名班级倒数,曾经室友们都有一堆人追我却倒追人还追得很辛苦。但所有这些都无法影响到我对自己的确信,内心的骄傲为我构建了一套属于自己的衡量标准,我相信自己的优秀。骄傲往往会带来一定程度的特立独行。我与流行总无法合拍,尽管我承认流行决不等同于庸俗;我不会去争夺很多东西,那些通常被认为重要的东西。这就是我的骄傲,我的偶尔的不合群,但它并不妨碍我对别的人、事、物的谦恭与敬畏。
我还是很骄傲。
p.s.希望这篇blog不要引起什么人的不快。骄傲在我看来真的是一件不坏的事情。我们每个人都有理由骄傲。

Posted by elfe at February 20, 2006 12:37 AM
Comments

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